I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
