Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
