omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
