It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
