i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
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I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
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I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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