who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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