And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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