That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
