lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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