This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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