Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  i need an iv and a liver transplant

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  (626): i need an iv and a liver transplant http://tfl.nu/lbut
  Replies (4) Good night (2409) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends

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  (908): I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends http://tfl.nu/6cx1
  Replies (68) Good night (1215) Bad night (6315) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.

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  (573): I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better. http://tfl.nu/vuqb
  Replies (73) Good night (5761) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.

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  (304): There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year. http://tfl.nu/n54w
  Replies (23) Good night (4609) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.

  (1-661): View more from California

  Lol thats a classic

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  (661): Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me. (1-661): Lol thats a classic http://tfl.nu/zpo3
  Replies (31) Good night (4975) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.

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  (615): Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can. http://tfl.nu/eowl
  Replies (16) Good night (5326) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night

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  (724): I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night http://tfl.nu/leh0
  Replies (6) Good night (4621) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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  (919): It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis. http://tfl.nu/c5pc
  Replies (9) Good night (1204) Bad night (3285) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.

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  (315): I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism. http://tfl.nu/5nmw
  Replies (8) Good night (3482) Bad night (866) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.

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  (734): you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you. http://tfl.nu/57kx
  Replies (7) Good night (1889) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.

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  (604): Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl. http://tfl.nu/vf15
  Replies (4) Good night (495) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.

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  (203): Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend. http://tfl.nu/ouub
  Replies (14) Good night (2299) Bad night (768)
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  (661): View more from California

  How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.

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  (661): How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents. http://tfl.nu/nsw6
  Replies (17) Good night (447) Bad night (1057) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?

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  (978): Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own? http://tfl.nu/mi3t
  Replies (8) Good night (1804) Bad night (359) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why does my jaw hurt?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I may have punched you.

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  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (7) Good night (1609) Bad night (337)

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