wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night