dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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