yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
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His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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