Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
