OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
