I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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