i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
