Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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