Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize