I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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