I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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