I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
