great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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