I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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