R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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