Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So vagazzling was a success
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
