i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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