So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
