In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
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I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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