Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
