ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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