yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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