i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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