yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
