Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
