I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
