She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
