so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
