i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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