listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Randomize
