got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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