dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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