She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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