I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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