There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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