How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
