I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
