It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
