two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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