It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
