I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
