I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
