I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
