um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
so much tequila, so little girl.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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