I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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