did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my being single is dangerous.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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