dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
