my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
