also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
