so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
