its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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