There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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