I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
