when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
