The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
