I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
