Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
