I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
