remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
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She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
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Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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